I started this blog in 2010, and dang, does that seem a lifetime ago. I think it was actually a Lenten spiritual practice that led me to begin writing as a form of spiritual meditation. Most of what I write about does indeed have a theological bent to it, and for that, I don't apologize. I view everything through the lens of theology, and that has caused me, at times, no small amount of heartache.
I'm also an empath, but a classic Type A personality which is an odd combination to me. I love the arts, but there is a certain satisfaction in sitting down to get our taxes ready for the CPA; organized, orderly, numbers all in a row. My wife teaches Special Education and has told me, more than once, that if I were in school today I would be in her class. Not because I'm not intelligent, but because she says I'm classic ADD and borderline ADHD. Sometimes, I'm not completely sure that I don't have a few autistic tendencies, because I get overstimulated in crowded spaces, I hyper focus on some things and totally ignore others, I'm compulsive, and anxious, sometimes to my detriment.
I've said that to say this, my mental health has always been something I've been aware of. Some days, it's better than others. Recently, not so much, and our current political climate is not helping. My anxiety is through the roof and I feel helpless to bring it back under control. I had one friend tell me, "Jamie, I'm worried about your mental health." To which I replied, "Dude, so am I." I had another friend tell me, "You just need to stop watching the news. It's not healthy." I agree that it's not. I had another acquaintance tell me, "You've let your hatred for this man totally consume you." I simply said, "I don't hate him, I hate his actions."
In 1998, I felt called into pastoral ministry, and that's when the wrestling match began. Before 1998, I want to think that I was aware of the struggles of others, but I can't promise that. I've never been intentionally mean to someone else, except this one time in middle school, and then this other time over a girl, also in middle school. As an adult, and especially as a pastor, I've paid more attention to how my actions affected others, and the reality that their experiences have possibly not been the same as mine.
You've heard it said "We're all on the same ship," followed by "No, we're not. We're in the same storm, but you're on a cruise ship and I'm in a canoe." I think there's a lot of truth in that. Privilege is real. I've never really noticed that until lately.
Here's the thing, though. I could stop watching the news, and I could stop scrolling social media. I could turn off the reels, set down my phone, and pick up the third book in the Game of Thrones series that I was reading last winter. I could do that. I could tell the friends in my group chats, "Look, y'all, please stop sending updates in the group chat. I'm trying to stop paying attention." That wouldn't help. It wouldn't solve any problems. I don't even think it would help my anxiety.
Yes, we are resurrection people. I know this. That is our hope as people of faith. "Well, Jamie, if your faith is strong enough, it shouldn't matter." It does matter. A lot. I quoted one of my seminary professors yesterday in the pulpit, "You do not have to fear those whose only power over you is death. The absolute worst thing they can do to you is kill you." I get that, and I have allowed that to guide me in my faith for the last 15 years. But, still...
Sometimes I wish I had never answered the call to pastoral ministry. I think life would have been so much easier. I think had that been the case, I might just not care. Immigrants getting deported? So what? They shouldn't have come here in the first place. Immigrant kids separated from their parents? I don't care. Their parents put them at risk by coming here illegally. Drug overdoses? So? They shouldn't be doing drugs. Cuts to programs that benefit the poorest among us? That doesn't affect me any. I work hard for what I have. They can, too. Trade wars? So what? Buy American. We've alienated all of our allies? That's no big deal. We're the greatest country in the world.
None of that, however, not one single thing, even gives a nod to the kingdom of heaven, and certainly not to the kingdom of heaven on earth. "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, ON EARTH as it is in heaven." Almost every congregation I have ever served has prayed that prayer, as a body, every single week, but just look at where we are now.
Few things in this old life are certain; death and taxes being two of them. I would also add this, it is certain that our faith will direct our politics, or our politics will direct our faith. At the very least, our faith SHOULD direct our politics. I will never, and I'll repeat that, never bring bipartisan politics into the pulpit. Any pastor who does, and any church who allows it should lose their 501c3 standing. That is not the place. I will, however, continue to proclaim the teachings and examples of Christ, and if that seems political, it's because it very much is. Another professor told us that all religion is political. We are called to take a stand against oppressive systems and governments on behalf of those who have no power to stand for themselves. We are called to speak out against injustices and resist evil in whatever form it presents itself. Those, I will continue to do, even though it may carry some yet unknown cost.
So, for those who wish I weren't so outspoken, allow me just a second for rebuttal.
I wish I didn't have to be.
I wish we lived in a world where we take seriously the teachings of Christ, and it shows. I wish we lived in a country, that even though we aren't, acts like a Christian nation. I wish the stranger was welcomed, the hungry were fed, the prisoners were visited, the thirsty were given drink, and the sick were healed. But, we don't. I'm not sure we ever have, or ever will. That does not give me, or you, permission to stick our heads in the sand and pretend that what's happening around us, isn't. It is. And Jesus weeps.
Jesus was a revolutionary and a radical, but it got him killed. And therein lies the rub.
No comments:
Post a Comment