Blue Chip Night...

Hello, my name is Jamie. I'm a firm believer in Jesus Christ, and I suffer from being a control freak and perfectionist...

It sounded stupid the first time I said it. I've been told most of my adult life that I'm a control freak. My kids know I'm a perfectionist about most things, and even my wife has made comments about it over the years. I have laughed it off for years by just saying it was part of my OCD tendencies.

I mean, I knew it was there. I can't walk past a throw rug without straightening it up...not in my house...not in your house...not in Wal-Mart...not in the grocery store. If I step across a rug, I'm going to straighten it up and that's all there is to it. My canned veggies in the cabinet all have the labels facing the same way. I like the remotes in a certain spot. There is a certain level of order that has to be maintained or I wig out, literally. And crowds...don't even get me started.

I didn't really think is was a very big deal until a couple weeks ago. The church that I am blessed to pastor has launched a ministry that I've been wanting to get involved with for years, Celebrate Recovery, and our first meeting was two weeks ago. Celebrate was born at Saddleback Church years ago and has become a world wide source of recovery and healing. We've been planning to launch at Grace for months, preparing, getting ready, lining up volunteers and material and our first meeting was going to be a general introduction kind of thing. No big deal, really. A short worship service was going to be followed by a video and some introductions by the leadership, then it was off to small groups to begin facing our demons...only my demon was a little impatient (Hmm, I wonder where he gets that from.) and decided to hit me during part of the worship service.

It's called "The Chip Service," and basically is a moment of celebration within the worship service. There are different color chips that are handed out to folks who have been free from their demons for different amounts of time, but the most important chip, we were told, was the blue chip. Folks who are on Day One of recovery recieve a blue chip. That means that they have taken the first step in breaking the chains of addiction or finding release from something that has kept them enslaved...but hold on, I'm getting ahead of myself.

The video...that's what really got me thinking. I had not seen it before and was not expecting to be affected like I was. I did expect folks to talk about addictions to drugs and alcohol, and they did. I expected folks to talk about food addictions, and self-esteem issues, so those didn't surprise me. I don't have a problem with any of that. Then it happened...three words scrolled across the screen..."Control freak"..."Perfectionist"...

Those aren't really problems, are they? I mean, honestly, is that something that folks need to be in recovery for? So I like things done a certain way. Big deal. Then I started thinking about all of the times I had yelled at my girls for the messes they left everywhere, and the times I had cussed at my employees years ago for not building something the way I wanted it built, and the times I tried to push my feet through the floor board while Steph was driving. Shall I continue with the list? Or can I just say that I realized that yes, I was a control freak, and yes, it was getting in the way of some of my relationships.

So I stood up, walked up to the front, took the blue chip, and said those words: "My name is Jamie. I'm a firm believer in Jesus Christ, and I'm a control freak." It still almost seems silly, I mean really. It's not a drug or alchohol addiction so it almost seems silly for a grown man to stand up in front of a group of folks and admit that he likes to be in charge, but it has made me more conscious of how I treat folks around me, and I'm beginning to notice the times when I cringe because something is not the way I want it to be.

So it wasn't an instant success story, but hey, it's a start. I still have issues. But admitting there is a problem truly is the first step to healing, and healing comes through Christ, which by the way is the backbone of the Celebrate Recovery program.

That being said, if you're battling your own demons and are ready to find healing, come on out to LaCenter Thursday night. I'll meet you at Grace UMC, right on Hwy 60 at 7:00, and you can let the healing begin.

Peace
Jamie

Mall Dad...

A couple weeks ago I ran across an article by Rick Howerton called, "Three Gifts Every Leader Should Give Their Family for Christmas." Here's a link to the article:

http://www.churchleaders.com/smallgroups/small-group-blogs/157433-rick_howerton_three_gifts_every_pastor_should_give_their_family_for_christmas.html

I already knew what he was going to talk about, and probably knew what he was going to say before he said it...more of my time, yada yada yada...family worship time, yada yada yada, and more of my time doing stuff with the family that didn't revolve around church, yada yada yada. I knew about all of that stuff already, and was doing a pretty fair job with it...so I thought.

Pre-Christmas season, or Advent, is uber-crazy around my place...just like I'm sure it is around yours. This year we also threw an open house at the parsonage into the mix, which I think was the first time we had ever done that, and which I know added to the already uber-craziness.

But...once the gifts had all been wrapped, the menu had been prepared, dinner had been had with Steph's family and with mine...once the lights had been turned off Christmas Eve, after gifts opened Christmas morning, the star had been followed, the babe had been swaddled and adored, and after worship had been led Christmas Day...it was time to crash.

I had planned to leave for a mission trip the day after Christmas like I have done in the past, but this time the weather didn't cooperate and the trip was postponed, which left me asking as I kicked back in my recliner Christmas afternoon..."What am I going to do now?"

I still had vacation days left and that's a good week to burn some of them up, so when we got up Monday morning, I said this to my bride of nearly 19 years: "I'm going to give you something for Christmas that I have never given you before. I'm going to take you and the girls to the mall and shop with them...all...day...long. A whole day of my undivided attention...at...the...mall." Yes, Virginia, there is a crazy man standing there.

We told the girls to gather up their gift cards and Christmas cash (cha-ching), then we all climbed into the 4 door sleigh, and headed to the mall. Had I lost my mind? What the hell was I thinking? It was the day after Christmas, for Pete's sake, and I was taking my brood to the epicenter of commercialism?

The crowds were just as bad as I expected. We actually did get to park on mall property...barely. Lines were long. Stores were packed. But my wife and two daughters had...a...ball (at the mall).

As I watched them, something in me began to change. I actually began to relax (and no, there was no alcohol involved). I noticed that I stopped standing out in the mall as much and actually started going into the stores with them more. I began to smile as I watched my daughters flit from one clothing rack to another, knowing they only had X number of dollars to spend, and that they had to spend it wisely.

I sat down with them and had a soft pretzel and a coke (Have you ever had one of those things? O...M...G...they are good.) I noticed that I began to notice the crowd less, and that my feet weren't hurting as much, and that I wasn't nearly as mad at the other mallers as I thought I'd be.

And then...9 hours, that's right folks, 9 hours later, we loaded back into the Explorer, Steph looked at me and said, "Thank you."

I've given her a lot of stuff for Christmas over the last 23 years, and more than likely, she doesn't remember much of it. I know that I don't. But this year, I gave her more of me.

I think the Lee clan started a new holiday tradition this year. Next year, I'm going to take the whole week after Christmas off. I'm not going to plan on going on a mission trip. I'm not going to go into the office. The band will be practiced up before Christmas...and I'm going to be, once again, a mall dad. It was actually fun.

I noticed something else this Christmas break. When all of my girls went back to school yesterday, I didn't do my happy dance like I used to. I actually hated to see them go back.

May your days of Christmas help you see what is really important. This year mine did.

Peace,
Jamie

Thankfulgiving...

Ok, so I haven't done this since August. I've been a little busy, but now things are becoming more manageable and I may be able to pick up, once again, the Pen of Sarcasm just as King Arthur wielded Excaliber, and start blogging again. I've heard it said of bloggers that never in the history of humankind have people said so much to so few. That's probably true, but oh well.

I've been watching Facebook off and on the last couple days and I have to say, it does my heart good to see all of the folks who are publicly giving thanks for all that they have been given. Obviously, the most common is family. Then comes salvation, and I even saw an "ABC" method for giving thanks for that. Pretty cool, and the list continues: safe travel, the Thanksgiving feast, friends, freedoms, well you get the picture. I'm thankful for all of the thankfulness as well.

Then I'm reminded of this past Tuesday night. Being the new kid on the block in Ballard County, I was asked to speak at the Community Thanksgiving Service. Totally expected that, and I had been planning it for several weeks. I made a rookie preacher mistake, though, and had built the message, basically, around one question.

I made a quick little self-introduction, since it was the first time most of those folks had ever seen me, then moved right into the message. Since it was a Thanksgiving message, what better way to begin than to talk about the holiday, which I did. You know what I mean; the meal, family getting together, the cranberry sauce that goes "Slurp" when it comes out of the can, and then I messed up.

In my family, we have maintained a Norman Rockwell-esque tradition of going around the room and mentioning one thing we are thankful for. I assumed every other family did as well, so I asked the question, "How many of us this Thursday, in the midst of the chaos and cooking, will gather with our family around the Thanksgiving feast and go around the room lifting up one thing we are thankful for?" I thought it a fairly innocent question. I mean, after all the freakin' holiday is called "Thanksgiving."

Crickets chirping....

Not one. Not one hand went up. Well, one did. My wife. But she married into this crazy family so she didn't really have a choice. I was floored. Maybe folks were intimidated by this fairly vocal, really outgoing, new kid. Maybe folks just didn't want to look the fool in front of the rest of the crowd. Maybe I was just being naive. I don't know. But whatever the reason, in that crowd of 150 or 200 people, not one person admitted to gathering with their family and lifting up one thing they were thankful for.

I don't know what to do with that. Admittedly, it totally blew my momentum, but we recovered and a good night was had by all. I have to say, though, the response of the crowd haunts me.

Has Thanksgiving really just become Black Friday Eve, or are we truly still a thankful people? I believe we are. So...I am going to accept that Tuesday night was just a fluke, probably because I got up and scared the hell out of some folk, let this go now and keep doing what I do.

Next year, I'm going to give thanks for TWO things.

May your Thanksgiving be filled with thanksgiving.

Yes We Had a Great Day...

I love Jeff Dunham. Sure, he plays with dolls for a living but the guy is a genius. One of my favorite parts of his act is when Peanut and Jose the Jalepeno are talking about their day:

Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today?
Peanut: Yes, we had a great day!
Jose: No, we did not.
Peanut: Yes!
Jose: No! We did not haaave a good day.
Peanut: Yes we haaaad a great freakin' day!
Jeff (to Peanut): You were supposed to take him to the spa
Peanut (to Jeff): I took him to the spa!
Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer!

Sounds like they did not have a great day, well at least one of them anyhow. That skit reminded me of someone I once knew. Fred was 104 years old, I think, when he finally had to stop saying "I woke up on top of the ground, it's a great day!" You could always count on Fred to greet you that way. Even though he might not have been having a great day, from the best I can remember, he always seemed to keep things in perspective, and saw each new day as a gift to be celebrated.

I've been noticing something lately and it's beginning to concern me. I'm not really sure how long I've been watching for this, but it's been a while, and what I've noticed is that folks like Fred are few and far between. Few are the folks who celebrate each new day as the gift it is, and allow that gift to shape their perspective for the entire day. Much greater is the number of folks who wake up and begin their day belly-aching about something, then allow that negativity to spread like the plague to those around them.

Don't believe me? Run through your facebook friend's posts and look at the number of people who seem either unhappy, depressed, or just plain negative. Talk about a buzzkill. After I started noticing the trend on facebook, I began looking for the same in the people I interacted with face to face. Same thing. More people than not seem to be oozing negativity.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a realist and I know that things are tough all over...but really? Also, I'm not an anthropologist, nor did I sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but I did come across a study that said negativity is contagious. It's true in marketing, in our own circles, and in the church.

Being a realist, I know that life is not all puppies and daisies, but for crying out loud, how about a smile every now and then? Is that really too much to ask out of folks who wake up, can get out of bed under their own power, have a little food in the house, and have friends and family to help get them through the really tough days? I think not.

Honestly, I have my share of bad days and I know you do too. I have days when I could absolutely spit nails and things happen that even make a preacher cuss, but that's just life. You roll with the punches and go on. Fred has been gone for years, but his words still ring in my ears anytime I feel the urge to start griping: "I woke up on top of the ground. It's a good day."

I'm halfway through with this journey we call life, and I'm going to spend the last half doing everything I can to curb this tsunami of negativity. I don't know what that's going to look like yet, but something has to give. I care greatly about the things that cause you stress and difficulty and want you to know I'm here for you. Don't be surprised, though, when you start complaining and I say, "Hey, you woke up on top of the ground. It's a great freakin' day."

I'll leave you with a little Electric Light Orchestra...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj8kMmUxkSE (Copy and paste into your browser)

Peace,
Jamie

That's How We Roll...

I'm a dad. Have been all of my kids' lives. I love being a dad, not always crazy about some of the stuff that goes along with it but I love it. My girls are my pride and joy, and each is the apple of one of my eyes.

I will admit, though, there have been times when watching something they were doing, had done, planned on doing, or even thought about doing upset me, that's just the way it goes, but for the most part I've got some good kids. They make me proud...a lot. Jen rocked the volleyball court day before yesterday, at least that's what I was told. I wasn't able to go to that one. Hannah has a heart the size of Texas and just watching her take on the mother hen role with kids in her class, Cheetoh (her cat), or even the stray dachsund that camped on our porch last night just makes me melt. I love my girls...

...I love my church. There are times when something it is doing, has done, plans on doing, or thinks about doing upsets me, that's just the way it goes, but I love my church. We have our issues, no doubt, and some of them have been driven home for me this week...on a denominational level numbers are slipping, financially we're budgeting more than we're taking in, and I could go and on, but last night, my folks made me proud to be their pastor and to be a Methodist.

During our Leadership Team meeting last night we had the usual stuff to discuss...finances, committee reports, yada yada yada, then they did it...new business...

"We want to start a Celebrate Recovery group here at the church..."
"I think that's a great idea."
"The county definitely needs something like this."
"What do we need to get started?"
"Let's do it."

"We need to start a feeding program in town..."
"Like a hot meal?"
"Once a week?"
"If we only serve one person a week that's one person that got a hot meal who might not have otherwise."
"Whatever you need, you let me know and I'll see what I can do."

Now, let me say this...financially we're struggling just like every other church in the nation right now. The numbers on Sunday morning? They're getting better but not where we need to be yet. We have the same 20% of the folks doing 80% of the work just like most other churches in the world, but in the midst of all of that, the Grace Church family decided to hear the voice of God, step out on faith, and launch two new ministries. Not programs to fill up a calendar, ministries that will make a difference in someone's life and just might help bring God's kingdom right here in LaCenter.

That's how we're going to roll. Times may be tough, but even in tough times God calls, and when God calls, Grace Church is going to answer. I love my kids...I love my church.

Peace
Jamie

Zucchini Tubs and Other Things...

Have you ever said or done something, and wondered why folks were laughing at you? Yeah, me either. I was just checking. Ok, confession time...yes I have...alot recently.

We've been painting our new to us parsonage for the last couple weeks and the other night I noticed my beautiful bride beginning to show signs of exhaustion. Our new to us parsonage is going to spoil us after we make it our own because of one thing...a huge corner jacuzzi tub in the master suite. We've never had one before and at first, I thought, "What a waste of space." I no longer think that.

After a long day's painting, I looked at Steph and she looked plumb beat, so being the wonderful and caring husband that I am, I said to her in my most compassionate and loving voice, "Hey hon, why don't you rinse out your paint brush, let me pour you a glass of sangria, and fill up the zucchini tub for you. You look like you need a break."

She started laughing. I started getting mad.
"What? Why are you laughing at me? I'm just trying to help."
"Did you hear what you just said?"

I said, "Yeah, I said, 'Why don't you rinse out your paint brush, let me pour you a glass of sangria, and fill up the zucchini tub for you." She started laughing again. Then what I had said clicked.

Two days later we slipped off to St. Louis for a couple days. We left after church on Sunday and got back late last night. It's the first vacation time we've taken as a couple in over four years, and evidently I needed a break more than I thought I did.

As we sat in the Drury Inn in Arnold, Missouri eating breakfast, I looked around and noticed that the place was packed with kids. I love kids, don't get me wrong, but it was loud. They were running around everywhere, bumping into folks, and spilling drinks, and I looked at Steph and said, "And why are all of these kids here? Shouldn't they be in school?" She started laughing. I started getting mad.

"Honey, you need a vacation. It's July. School is out for the summer." (Facepalm)

Before we left for vacation (even if it was only 2 1/2 days) I had ordered a DVD. It was from a Willow Creek leadership institute and the presenter was Wayne Codeiro, pastor of New Hope Fellowship in Oahu. The title of his presentation was "Dead Leader Running," and it humbles me every time I watch it.

For the first time in my career, I actually saw the signs of what Wayne was talking about in myself..."Shall I fill up the zucchini tub for you?"

I've talked about this before, but I have to admit, this time it kind of scared me a little. I'm one month into a new appointment and having a ball. The schedule is crazy busy, the stress level is a little higher, the expectations are greater, but I'm absolutely loving it. Zucchini tub was an eye opener for me, though. I need to pay attention to my health and my family's well being if I'm going to be able to be a shepherd for the kingdom.

Wayne said that we, as pastors, never forget we are pastors but we do forget that we are human. I had forgotten that. He went on to talk about how to prevent the breakdowns that sometimes come with the profession: find things that fill your tank and do them; find the fulcrum in your life so that balance can be maintained; lead out of rest; find a lightening rod to help keep you grounded; and discipline your daily devotions. I used to do all of those with a fair amount of regularity. Lately, not so much.

I confess that my devotion time has slipped. I must and will get that back on track. I confess that my fulcrum, my heart, has not moved to maintain the balance I need between ministry and family. I confess that I have not met with my mentor in a month or more, it's time. I confess that I have not led out of a spirit of rest. And, I confess that I have done very little to fill my tank recently.

Maybe it's feeling guilt at taking the time needed to do those things, or feeling that other things are more important and pressing at the moment, I don't know. But I do know that most kids do not go to school in July, even in Missouri, and that you can not relax in a zucchini tub. At least I know that now.

Dead leader running...I don't want that to be me.

Peace,
Jamie

Would Jesus Post Office Hours?...

I have an office. A real, honest to goodness office. I have a huge desk and it looks great. The top is a little cluttered but I know where everything is. I have a whole wall full of cabinets behind me with a great little countertop, and my set of Interpreter's Bibles takes up two whole shelves. My guitars are on stands in the corner, well, one is on a stand, the other is waiting for me to remember to bring its stand. My coffee maker is perking as we speak. The church has a great computer for me to use, sitting right here on my great desk...and the chair...oh my goodness. I'm getting one of these for the living room in the parsonage. I've got a great gig going here.

That's right, you know you're jealous of my office...but...

I don't remember where I heard it, but someone, somewhere, at some point, told me that Jesus wouldn't have had an office.

I know! Can you believe that? Why would anyone not want an office like the one I have? I mean, Jesus could have set office hours and the twelve could have had their own cubicles just outside his big corner office, and you know it would have been a corner office. I mean, just picture the sign out front..."J. Christ and Co." That's marketable. Folks could have made appointments and come by to see him, or visit, or complain, or cry...whatever they needed. Just think of all he could have gotten done. The Sermon on the Mount? Could have been written on a Dell. Kona coffee must pale in comparison to the coffee that would have been in Jesus' office...and I love me some Kona coffee.

Still, the thought that Jesus would not have had an office kind of bugs me. I love mine, honest. I can come in here on the days I post office hours, and my folks know they can reach me. We have a group that will be by in a bit, just like they do every Thursday, to pray over every name that was lifted up in the last few days. I can come in here on the days I'm not supposed to be here, leave the doors locked, and write or pray or just listen. I stream K-Love on my Dell desktop while I'm working on the teaching for the week on my laptop. (Yeah, two computers in my office.)

But...can I be an effective pastor from behind a desk? To some degree, sure. I can write great messages here. I can take care of the CEO part of the job and never leave my chair. I can kick back and listen as folks come in to talk, but ultimately, if I'm going to lead the people of God, I will have to spend some time outside with the people of God.

So...my office hours...Wednesday and Thursday from 8:30 to 11:30. I'll be in one more day, at least, so that I can really focus on writing, and I'll be here for the meetings I need to be here for. But I think that after I get settled in, two mornings each week blocked out to sit behind a desk are enough.

My prayer is that I always remember that just because I have finally arrived at the point in my career where I have a great office, and it is a great office, I never, never use it to hide from my calling to go out and make disciples of all that I meet.

Peace,
Jamie